They call him The Captain.
Or at least he says "they" do.
He is Canadian, probably. At least he says he's Canadian so people won't think he is American. He has told at least three different versions of a story about how he is so chill, so laid back that he randomly woke up on a train (or a train station, or a bus stop) only to find out he was headed to Prague, and just said "Fuck it." You see, he just does what he does. He goes with the flow. If he meets some cool people, he follows them. "
Always."He is all about living life. He lives his life and may or may not alter his stories to punctuate that lifestyle. If you tell him you are from High Park in Toronto, he tells people he "met some dude from Regent Park" as if they are the same neighbourhood. (They aren't. There's a big difference between a guy who grew up in a black neighbourhood and an awkward white guy who group in a neighbourhood where he was more or less taught to be cautious of any and all non-whites.) But Regent Park sounds more dangerous, and that's what matters most.
He is so chill that other dudes just want to be him. He seems like he has it all. He is
so chill, in fact, that a seemingly reasonably normal and slightly awkward guy will strive with all his might to seduce a girl that The Captain very clearly fucked the night before. But it doesn't matter.
If The Captain had her, she must be hot, right?
He is so cool that people ignore the fact he is an insufferable douche bag. He can still go into a bar and declare that after two minutes without music (in which the bartender is busy making the off-menu drink he ordered), he should DJ. And, of course, he has a pocket speaker system perfect for his iPod.
He chooses Audioslave as an appropriate soundtrack. It clashes with the music the bartender already has playing. But he sees no reason to stop it. He
loves Audioslave.
He doesn't care.
He's chill. He's laidback. He is having the ultimate European Vacation.
No regrets.
He's The Captain.
